Why do children tantrum?

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Why do children tantrum?

Tantrums can be completely exhausting, and while the popular belief is that the "Terrible Two's" bring the worst in our little ones, I'd argue that 3 and 4-year-old tantrums can really break you down.

The reality is that Tantrums are completely normal, and a part of our children's brain development. Human brains develop back to front, with a more complex understanding of directions only appearing in a child after turning 4 years old.

Accepting this reality doesn't mean there's nothing we can do. It also means that a lot of traditional methods (punishments, time-outs, taking out toys, over-lecturing) really don't work. And to help our children through this developmental stage while preserving our own mental health there are really good strategies that can be used. 

Using simple language, we can start by helping our little ones identify their emotions. Label them, use yourself as an example through your daily life, labeling your own emotions. For example: "I'm pretty upset now - we've been waiting in line for over 25 minutes!". It is also helpful to use other people and situations we observe, for example at the playground: "That little boy just fell, he seems very upset - his knee must hurt a lot". Helping your child label their own emotions will help your little one verbalize their feelings more effectively during an emotional breakdown.

After a big tantrum, once your kid is happy again, help them build a calm down corner - a safe place where they can go to release big emotions and find comforting items. Our Tantrum Fix kit comes armed with all the tools to build the best calm down corner, and detailed guidelines to survive this stage in an effective way.

Tantrum Fix Kit

"Tantrum Fix is a great resource to gently start teaching your kiddos about emotions, and specifically how to handle the not so fun meltdowns. I love incorporating the Calm Down book into our nightly read-aloud routine with my 2-year-old, so that when she was feeling upset about something, I was able to effectively communicate and help her to learn how to self soothe with all the fun items provided. I also like that the items are easily taken on the go, so you'll have them when needed!" - @livingratefully

 

 

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